The Power of Persistence: Strengthening Your Relationship Through Commitment

"You marry a person, not a project."

This is a phrase Dawna has shared many times with couples who see to change one another.

Personalities rarely change, she warns them. At best, through gentle and kind persistence, you can help people choose to change their behavior.

Research consistently shows that couples who demonstrate persistent dedication to their partnership experience greater relationship satisfaction and longevity. One of the reasons is commitment. Knowing you are in the marriage for the long haul allows spouses to push slowly and steadily for changes in their spouse's behaviors. The trust that comes with lifelong commitment provides the security spouse's need to learn new habits.

How do we get people to change their behaviors? This week's Gospel describes one answer: persistence. Bartimaeus, a blind man, calls out to Jesus. When he is ignored, he calls out again. And again.

When Jesus does respond, Bartimaeus does not demand. Bartimaeus does not speak of his needs. He takes a humble position, and when asked what he wants, he does not asked to be healed for his own sake but so that he can see Jesus.

This is the same kind of persistence we need to show in our marriage. We cannot demand our partners change, nor can they demand it of us. We can only humbly share, again and again, how they make us feel, and what would help us see them in a better light.

Image by Shepherd Chabata from Pixabay